The blessings of marriage in the right order!

There are few experiences in life that are special enough to leave a lasting impression, but a few weeks ago, I went to one of the sweetest weddings I have ever attended.  There were many reasons that it was so special and so memorable, but the most important difference in this wedding and other weddings was the acknowledged presence of Jesus in every part of the wedding festivities.  The whole weekend, friends that spoke on behalf of this couple, repeated the same things over and over.  Katie and Austin love Jesus and they live it every day.  Katie’s brother in law expressed his tremendous concern about Katie ever dating anyone because she lived her life to such a standard and was so good.  He wondered if anyone would ever be good enough for Katie and he meant that in the most sincere and respectful way.  I was moved to know that everyone who knew Katie thought that she was one of the closest outward expressions of Jesus that we ever see here on earth.  The groom was no less impressive.  He was also commended on his drive and tenacity to spread the word and help others live a more fulfilled Christian life.  Every person that spoke of Austin mentioned his complete desire to know Jesus and make him known.  One of Austin’s friends actually talked about playing video games with him while listening to Austin’s favorite sermons played aloud.  I kept feeling inspired and challenged by what a powerful ministry team these two will be as husband and wife.

It wasn’t actually said out loud, but we all knew that this couple had waited to do everything in the right order.  They had waited for marriage as the Bible instructs us to do.  They had prayed their way through their dating relationship and Austin had even given Katie a Bible with her married name on it as he proposed to her before leading her in prayer.  It was evident to everyone that the ties that bind them, even on their first day as one, are so incredibly strong because the ties are rooted in Jesus.  The consistency of their story inspired me.  I contemplated the unique blessings that must be on a marriage where everything is done in the right order.  I dreamed of my girls, who are growing up in this broken society, and prayed that they would both wait on God for their mate and then do everything in the right order.  I worry about our young people growing up in a society that has so warped the covenant of marriage and exploited the gifts God has given to us in marriage.  Katie and Austin reassure us that God’s entire perfect plan is still attainable for those who will wait upon Him.  What an incredible example!

I am sure that Austin and Katie will face struggles in their marriage.  There will be rough times and sad times, and disconnected times, but I wonder…maybe the blessing of doing it God’s way is truly the tie that binds forever.  In our fast food society where divorce is as acceptable as going through a drive through window for a meal, maybe the blessing that was so evident in watching Austin and Katie create their covenant with God is the absence of baggage in their relationship.  There is nothing to question or to wonder or to worry about.  It was right, it was real, and it was truly an opportunity to see into God’s very best expectations for us when we do it His way.  I am writing this blog entry because I want Austin and Katie to know that their example was a blessing, even to the old married folks in the crowd.  It is a pleasure to look towards the future for Austin and Katie.  I cannot wait to watch the blessings continue to unfold.  Thank you for letting us be part of your special day! 

Jennifer's Spin: Turning 40 and the lesson of the blackberry

Jennifer's Spin: Turning 40 and the lesson of the blackberry: So I haven't posted anything in awhile and since it is the week of me turning 40 and becoming so much "wiser" and all...I thou...

Turning 40 and the lesson of the blackberry

So I haven't posted anything in awhile and since it is the week of me turning 40 and becoming so much "wiser" and all...I thought I should certainly post something meaningful.  As usual my life ebbs and flows in and out of chaos as I am struggling hard to figure out what God's plan for my life is at this time.  Birthdays have never bothered me because I have always believed that age was mental, however; I remember when my mother turned 40 and it was the first time that I was ever really aware of her age.  I thought 40 was old then and it is hard to reconcile that past thought with today's reality...which is the fact that 40 is 6 days away. Our society teaches us to measure our lives out in successes and failures and there is this imaginary scoreboard of wins and losses.  I am not where I thought I would be at 40.  I am still battling a weight issue and right now the weight is winning.  I have been somewhat stagnant in my career as I have been trying to discern what the next steps are for me.  I never feel that I am successful as a wife and mother.  I am always wishing that I could be more to my children and that I could give more of myself to my husband.  I have had all these thoughts really rolling around in my head because of the whole 40 thing and the strangest thing taught me the lesson I needed for this point and time and that lesson came from blackberries.

Consider the growth cycle of wild blackberries.  They start off as little flowers and then grow into little berry buds.  The weather has to get good and hot for them to start growing and turning their rich, dark color.  They actually thrive in humidity and heat.  The berries grow on a vine that wraps itself around thorns and thistle like weeds.  Their most brilliant time is in the most uncomfortable heat of the year and they must live among thorns, bees, birds and snakes.  It is really hard to kill off blackberries and the more you pick the year previous, the more you will have the next season.

We are like the blackberries.  We start off as little flowers and then we become buds that grow up among the thistles and thorns of this world.  Our best season is when the heat is on and while everything seems to be against our survival, we thrive!  Very little will take us out because God has made us so hardy and provides us strength to face all the difficulties along the way.  Each season that we grow, we become more, we become better.  While you cannot know for certain where you are in the cycle of your life, take it as a season.  Live well, love well, and focus on something other than the heat and the thorns.  Survival from season to season is a win...no matter what someone else's scoreboard says!

What about the times when we just DON'T want to?

What about the times I really don't want to...

So we are to praise God in all things, the good and bad. We are to have faith in the bigger plan that we cannot see most of the time.  We are to surrender our triumphs and our sufferings and allow God to work through us.  What about the times when we really don't want to praise him?  What about times where our lack of understanding in the bigger plan makes us uncertain and angry?  What do we do when we feel like the situation is too painful to surrender?

These questions have been heavy on my mind this past week.  It is incredibly hard to find God's touch when our circumstances are painful.  Friday a week ago, my Uncle David went to be with the Lord. I watched as my sweet grandmother buried another son and it felt so unfair.  I watched as my cousin faced the loss of a father she adored. I watched as my Aunt tried to come to terms with a new reality without her beloved.  It was intense and incredibly painful.  It is a pain I am more familiar with than I want to be because this particular loss took me right back to 12 years old when I lost my Dad.  It wasn't any easier this time around.

Sunday morning I woke up to learn that sweet Sara had lost her battle with cancer. This amazing woman sacrificed for everyone around her.  Both of her parents lived into their 90's due to her tender care so it is no embellishment to say that Sara was robbed of about 30 years.  I watched a devoted husband of 45 years face his first days without his sweet wife.  I watched three siblings grieve as the heart light of their home was extinguished.  I felt my own sadness at the loss of this wonderful woman. I felt anger at the goodbye that none of us wanted to say.

I tried to reason out why two loved ones would go in less than 48 hours of each other.  I questioned the timing and felt frustrated by all of it. I allowed my mind to hang out in that place for several days.  Now...I choose to praise God anyway. I choose to have faith in God's plan anyway.  I choose to surrender my hurt to Him yet again.  I really don't want to begin living again...but the one thing we all must cling to in times like these is the fact that God is in control!  Acknowledge Him.  Praise Him.  Surrender to Him. Do it even when you don't want to and He will be faithful.  I am claiming His promises today for myself and many others who are doing it with broken hearts, but doing it out of faith...and doing it anyway.