So I got an anonymous typed letter of correction about how my
last blog article was posted to intentionally hurt others. Part of me wants to let it go, but there is
another part of me that wants to set the record straight. I did not point out imperfections in my
former church to hurt others. It was
just the opposite in fact. I am
concerned that people are not receiving the instruction they need to live more
fully developed Christian lives. I was
naive to think others would see it that way, but it wasn't done in malice. Too many of the modern day churches have
gotten hung up on how many people they can pull in on a Sunday and how many
they can baptize in a year and they use business model terms to discuss how
they are going to make those two goals happen.
I said that the church has lost focus of the mission of discipleship and
is bringing too many things of the world in to try and accomplish their
goals. We are supposed to be giving
people what they need to live a full life in Christ and presenting mediocrity
and not preaching all of the elements of the Christian life to be seeker
friendly is not cutting it. Allowing
people to live in open sin and then still serve in the church is wrong. The Bible plainly says that, but that doesn't
sell well in the modern day church so we don't do anything about it. I never said that nothing good goes on in
these churches. Winning people to Christ
is good, but are we winning all of them to Christ or are we kicking up an
emotional frenzy and building a brand that they identify with more than they
identify with the Savior? There are
small groups that go in depth and I was in a great small group. In fact, that was the only thing that fed me
anything while I was there. I loved my
small group and the people who were in it, but I see too many people placing
their identity in their church and not in Christ and that concerns me. In this anonymous letter, I received a flyer
that said "How ____ (church name) changed my life." The title of that
article just reaffirms everything I said in my blog article. Shouldn't it be "How God changed my
life"? The other thing that I also
wanted to point out is the fact that many people have spoken to me about the
problems I outlined in my blog article, but no one wants to actually voice it
out loud and say that it is unacceptable.
They would rather just keep the peace and not say this is wrong. The letter also quoted James about not
speaking evil against a brother or judging them. That is out of context. We are not to judge the people of the world,
but we are given clear directions in Matthew 18 to point out sin in the
church. We are to call it out and say
what it is. Many people are willing to "murmur" about what is wrong,
and I have heard lots of murmuring, but no one is willing to call it what it
is. The church is never going to move
forward if we don't address the issues.
The church belongs to God. It
doesn't belong to any dynamic ministry team or any others who would claim
ownership of it. When you set up a
situation with no accountability, abuses will happen. That is the reason that Paul outlined the
need for elders to be an active part of the body. 1Timothy 5:17 says, "The
elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor,
especially those whose work is preaching and teaching." When even the
elders are "murmuring" about the problems, but are unwilling to
actually expose the problems, then nothing changes. I will say that I am very sorry that my words
hurt people, but I think we have gotten way too politically correct about
things and lost sight of our role. Read
Corinthians and some of the other letters to the churches. The model that Paul left us was to call out
the problems with boldness and try to be the spark that makes the difference.
We tried to be the spark from the inside and had no luck. It is time that we in the Christian world
stop playing church and choose to make it what God designed. I want to follow Christ and attempt to obey
all of His teachings. I will fall short,
but I am going to keep trying.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
From Heartbroken to Healed Again!
The last few weeks have been a time of search and surrender as I left behind something that was important to me in order to ultimately be obedient to God. It was painful in so many ways because oftentimes as humans, we do even the right things, the wrong way. I looked for a way out that made sense and chose anger instead of peace. I have been analyzing that anger over the past few weeks and trying to come to grips with exactly what it is I feel about about this organization that I tied myself to for so long. I think that now I can say it is hurt and disappointment in realizing that not everyone is seeking to live out the scriptures. In fact some are really interested in the cafeteria plan of choosing what parts work best for them. I got sucked into it because I was at a place in my life where my walk with Christ was not strong. I had really gone through some difficult times personally and I had allowed myself to get away from the principles that used to guide my life. The truths of God's word were in the recesses of my mind, but I was living life only to survive.
During survival mode, I stopped making many good Godly decisions and I was led to the organization for what seemed like good reasons. As I started to awake from survival mode and dig back into the recesses, I started to feel conviction. That conviction started out as confusion. Things that had been taught to me in childhood and that I had studied and taught others in young adulthood made their way back to the front of my mind and I started questioning things in the organization. When I started questioning, I was quickly painted as subversive. I was not welcomed, but rather lived on the fringe of the organization. I became aware that others had similar questions, but had rationalized their concerns with the idea that no church is perfect. For awhile, I operated under that thought process. No church is perfect and I am overanalyzing. I got absorbed in the friendships I had made and tried to see my mission as the small groups and friends that I was in direct contact with. I found some stability, but never peace. I watched the leadership of the church lead in ways that seemed very shallow. I saw a lot of snobbery and vying for position as well as idolatry of status symbols. Name dropping and humor became a regular part of the Sunday service and sermons were replaced with anecdotes and clips from Modern Family and other such secular sources. I became numb to it all for awhile. I tried to tune out the conviction I felt. All of these other people are right in the middle of it with me. I have made these great friendships and it had taken me forever to even feel like I did belong. I didn't want to hear that still small voice asking me where God was in all of the "fun" and "good times." People were getting saved and being baptized. That is a sign of good. But more and more I realized that they were saved and not discipled. I looked around to see that most people didn't carry a Bible to church with them as there was little need for it. Very few even knew what the scripture really said. I remember the power that I used to see in my christian walk and I did not see it or feel it anymore. I felt my marriage struggling and things not going well in my life and yet there was no leadership or counsel within the church to turn to. Finally in the midst of all of the confusion and conviction, I had an awakening experience through a guest speaker at another church. I read the book of the speaker and got in touch with the absolute power of God again. I was reminded just how big the Savior was and the conviction I felt became much stronger. I was really wrestling with some big issues now. I began to really allow myself to see what was going on. The sermons were not based on scripture. They were nice stories tied together with two or three Bible verses. Then scripture was taken totally out of context. One Sunday Amos 3:3 was used as a reference towards being in sync with your spouse when you are parenting. If you read the related passages, you realize that this scripture is completely out of context as it was referencing the destruction of Israel with seven rhetorical questions. I started asking myself why is no one else seeing these things? Why do folks not question? Then I hear that people do question, but they lay it aside. Why can they lay it aside and I can't? I finally realize that many do not know any better. There were so many young christians who know little of the word. I also began to realize once again the power of the leadership. The head of the organization is leading us down this path, so we will put our faith there. This upset me even more because I have put my faith in man before and been disappointed every time. I knew that I had to keep going back to what the word of God says. At this point I started to feel the winds of persecution as well. If I spoke against the way things were handled, it angered others. I had never before experienced this type of persecution. I have always been involved in the church in a positive way. I had never seen this type of passive aggressive behavior before. It started impacting my self esteem and I started to feel even more confused and hurt. I felt like the line was drawn and people saw their identity as wrapped up in the organization and I saw/see my identity as wrapped up in Christ. That hurt turned into anger as I watched things move steadily away from what I believed the Bible said. I really started searching at this point. I reached out to the Minister who led me to Christ so many years ago and asked for some guidance. He gave me this scripture, "The time will come when they [the people in the church] will not endure [tolerate] sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths”(2 Timothy 4:3-4). This made so much sense. To me it summed things up completely. The organization had confused the mission. The mission is to go and make "disciples" and that became replaced with a business model of go and make"believers." Some would argue that they are the same and they are not. They are distinctly different in fact. Disciples are brought along and taught the scripture so that it takes root and has deep and abiding meaning in their lives. Disciples turn to the main source on a subject (the Bible) and try to follow that source as accurately as possible. They search for discernment of that source so that they can follow that correct teaching. A believer is one who has accepted the first principle of christianity, but understands little else about the plan. Every disciple starts as just a believer, but grows over time, through reading the source (the Bible) and applying it to their lives. There is so much more to this walk with God than merely just believing. It starts there, but until you actually figure out how to apply what you believe to your life, you are really no more educated than a baby. You are happy and content with the milk. If you never grow past that state of believing then you never move on to digesting the meat. You live in the euphoric world that children live in where merely believing is enough. We cannot stay children forever in the biological reality of life. We physically grow and that oftentimes requires that we take on the more responsible actions of working and providing, but in the world of christianity, one can stay merely a believer forever. Being a believer is the happiest and easiest place there is for christians. It is the knowledge that a Savior died on a cross for our sins and that merely believing in that principle will save us. That is why the great commission in Matthew says, "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” There is so much more there than just teaching them to believe. The Bible says in James 2:19, "you believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." The Bible concludes with the book of Revelations which tells us all there is to come before Christ will return for His church. In Revelations chapter 3:14 - 22, there is a strong message to the modern day church. The church that sees itself as doing really well walking in their "beliefs." God says to this church "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." God says that there is no middle of the road where we just feel good and concentrate on the fun and joyful things. God has called HIS church to be HIS disciples. That is a body united with humility, but directed by God and empowered by the Spirit. In this body, the members are servants of others. They reduce themselves so that God shows through them. There is no room for ego and idolatry or paranoia and control. There is a great deal of accountability and there is nothing "simple" about the way it is designed. In fact God tells us in 2 Timothy 3:12, "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." When we are persecuted for our questions then we know that we are attempting to be the disciple. We are commanded that the ONLY instruction manual for the church is the scripture because it "is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." So the past few weeks have been painful. I have had to ask forgiveness for my sins on many levels. I got away from the source and I got embattled by those who seek to control the church like a business. I wish I could say that I always acted the right way and handled each situation the way God would have me do because I fell short and that always leads people astray when christians fall short, but I am so grateful for the still small voice that kept leading me back to the word and away from the teachers who will gladly "tickle ears" because their business model tells them that it will bring in more people to do so. I would rather stand where the gate is narrow and go in the direction that the Bible leads. Even if that means that I will lose certain friends and face persecution. While that is painful and hard to handle at times, it really only reaffirms that I am attempting to live by the word of God.
During survival mode, I stopped making many good Godly decisions and I was led to the organization for what seemed like good reasons. As I started to awake from survival mode and dig back into the recesses, I started to feel conviction. That conviction started out as confusion. Things that had been taught to me in childhood and that I had studied and taught others in young adulthood made their way back to the front of my mind and I started questioning things in the organization. When I started questioning, I was quickly painted as subversive. I was not welcomed, but rather lived on the fringe of the organization. I became aware that others had similar questions, but had rationalized their concerns with the idea that no church is perfect. For awhile, I operated under that thought process. No church is perfect and I am overanalyzing. I got absorbed in the friendships I had made and tried to see my mission as the small groups and friends that I was in direct contact with. I found some stability, but never peace. I watched the leadership of the church lead in ways that seemed very shallow. I saw a lot of snobbery and vying for position as well as idolatry of status symbols. Name dropping and humor became a regular part of the Sunday service and sermons were replaced with anecdotes and clips from Modern Family and other such secular sources. I became numb to it all for awhile. I tried to tune out the conviction I felt. All of these other people are right in the middle of it with me. I have made these great friendships and it had taken me forever to even feel like I did belong. I didn't want to hear that still small voice asking me where God was in all of the "fun" and "good times." People were getting saved and being baptized. That is a sign of good. But more and more I realized that they were saved and not discipled. I looked around to see that most people didn't carry a Bible to church with them as there was little need for it. Very few even knew what the scripture really said. I remember the power that I used to see in my christian walk and I did not see it or feel it anymore. I felt my marriage struggling and things not going well in my life and yet there was no leadership or counsel within the church to turn to. Finally in the midst of all of the confusion and conviction, I had an awakening experience through a guest speaker at another church. I read the book of the speaker and got in touch with the absolute power of God again. I was reminded just how big the Savior was and the conviction I felt became much stronger. I was really wrestling with some big issues now. I began to really allow myself to see what was going on. The sermons were not based on scripture. They were nice stories tied together with two or three Bible verses. Then scripture was taken totally out of context. One Sunday Amos 3:3 was used as a reference towards being in sync with your spouse when you are parenting. If you read the related passages, you realize that this scripture is completely out of context as it was referencing the destruction of Israel with seven rhetorical questions. I started asking myself why is no one else seeing these things? Why do folks not question? Then I hear that people do question, but they lay it aside. Why can they lay it aside and I can't? I finally realize that many do not know any better. There were so many young christians who know little of the word. I also began to realize once again the power of the leadership. The head of the organization is leading us down this path, so we will put our faith there. This upset me even more because I have put my faith in man before and been disappointed every time. I knew that I had to keep going back to what the word of God says. At this point I started to feel the winds of persecution as well. If I spoke against the way things were handled, it angered others. I had never before experienced this type of persecution. I have always been involved in the church in a positive way. I had never seen this type of passive aggressive behavior before. It started impacting my self esteem and I started to feel even more confused and hurt. I felt like the line was drawn and people saw their identity as wrapped up in the organization and I saw/see my identity as wrapped up in Christ. That hurt turned into anger as I watched things move steadily away from what I believed the Bible said. I really started searching at this point. I reached out to the Minister who led me to Christ so many years ago and asked for some guidance. He gave me this scripture, "The time will come when they [the people in the church] will not endure [tolerate] sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths”(2 Timothy 4:3-4). This made so much sense. To me it summed things up completely. The organization had confused the mission. The mission is to go and make "disciples" and that became replaced with a business model of go and make"believers." Some would argue that they are the same and they are not. They are distinctly different in fact. Disciples are brought along and taught the scripture so that it takes root and has deep and abiding meaning in their lives. Disciples turn to the main source on a subject (the Bible) and try to follow that source as accurately as possible. They search for discernment of that source so that they can follow that correct teaching. A believer is one who has accepted the first principle of christianity, but understands little else about the plan. Every disciple starts as just a believer, but grows over time, through reading the source (the Bible) and applying it to their lives. There is so much more to this walk with God than merely just believing. It starts there, but until you actually figure out how to apply what you believe to your life, you are really no more educated than a baby. You are happy and content with the milk. If you never grow past that state of believing then you never move on to digesting the meat. You live in the euphoric world that children live in where merely believing is enough. We cannot stay children forever in the biological reality of life. We physically grow and that oftentimes requires that we take on the more responsible actions of working and providing, but in the world of christianity, one can stay merely a believer forever. Being a believer is the happiest and easiest place there is for christians. It is the knowledge that a Savior died on a cross for our sins and that merely believing in that principle will save us. That is why the great commission in Matthew says, "therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” There is so much more there than just teaching them to believe. The Bible says in James 2:19, "you believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder." The Bible concludes with the book of Revelations which tells us all there is to come before Christ will return for His church. In Revelations chapter 3:14 - 22, there is a strong message to the modern day church. The church that sees itself as doing really well walking in their "beliefs." God says to this church "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." God says that there is no middle of the road where we just feel good and concentrate on the fun and joyful things. God has called HIS church to be HIS disciples. That is a body united with humility, but directed by God and empowered by the Spirit. In this body, the members are servants of others. They reduce themselves so that God shows through them. There is no room for ego and idolatry or paranoia and control. There is a great deal of accountability and there is nothing "simple" about the way it is designed. In fact God tells us in 2 Timothy 3:12, "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." When we are persecuted for our questions then we know that we are attempting to be the disciple. We are commanded that the ONLY instruction manual for the church is the scripture because it "is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." So the past few weeks have been painful. I have had to ask forgiveness for my sins on many levels. I got away from the source and I got embattled by those who seek to control the church like a business. I wish I could say that I always acted the right way and handled each situation the way God would have me do because I fell short and that always leads people astray when christians fall short, but I am so grateful for the still small voice that kept leading me back to the word and away from the teachers who will gladly "tickle ears" because their business model tells them that it will bring in more people to do so. I would rather stand where the gate is narrow and go in the direction that the Bible leads. Even if that means that I will lose certain friends and face persecution. While that is painful and hard to handle at times, it really only reaffirms that I am attempting to live by the word of God.
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