The Reality of Deception and Finding the Lesson

So why do people deceive and lie to others?  Almost 100% of the time, the deception is revealed and when it goes down in a public way, you think that the world has ended for a short period of time.  First of all deception is not in my make up so it is hard for me to understand people who do it.  I don't like to play games and I certainly hate all the sucking up that the politics of success call for.  Most people who know me realize this about me and they know that they are getting pure Jennifer 100% of the time.  You may not like her, but it is the same Jennifer for everybody.  No special kissing up with this group and building allegiance to this group.  It is just me...love me or loathe me.  Since I am me and I am usually open and honest, I rarely get blindsided, but when someone does blindside me, it stings.  Last week I got blindsided and it had to do with something that was a long standing dream of mine.  It was a dream that I have been building towards for the past three years, but really something that goes far deeper than that. The dream encompassed a status symbol, personal gratification, and a whole host of "what ifs" and "wouldn't it be wonderfuls."  So at the point of impact when it first blows up in your face, my immediate instinct is to try and see the good in the person and try to justify the behavior.  I want an excuse for that person.  I don't want to believe it.  This quickly gives way to pure rage...the kind where you pick up the phone and tell the deceiver to go straight to hell.  Luckily for me self preservation always jumps in and my christian upbringing also stands up and reminds me that I cannot act this way.  So what next?  For me the rage dissipates into true sadness.  This time there was a shattered dream so it wasn't just "rainy day sadness", it was painful loss.   The kind where you cry so hard and so deep your chest hurts.  Then I cycle back around to trying to logically understand it and eventually I get to a place of acceptance and I tell myself that I need to move on.  I keep telling myself that I need to move on.  I even went back and tried to shut the door for good so that this deception will not be suffered again.  Daily (sometimes several times in  a day) I find myself asking God again (after I have promised to just trust) why can't I have this dream that I want?  I believe the audible answer would be that God is protecting me from some one or something I cannot see clearly myself.