When you are a perfect parent to 10 or more children you can speak, but UNTIL THEN SHUT UP!

I know that my thoughts won't set this situation straight, but I had to put it out there.

I have been so blown away over the past two weeks as I have listened to the constant discussion about the Duggar family.  The judgment that has been spewed by every talk show host, news correspondent and by the public in general has been horrific.  I keep asking myself why everyone is so intent on making this so much more dramatic than the facts allow.  YES, sexual abuse of any kind is a serious thing and it should be taken seriously.  I am a survivor of molestation so I know exactly what it can do to your self-esteem and the long reaching impact can be difficult.  I support the Joyful Heart Foundation and I share my story whenever I feel like it might help someone else, but I do not now nor did I ever feel that the teenage boy who molested me should be put in jail.  When it came out, my parents were devastated and even through my six year old eyes I remember the struggle that was on them to figure out what to do.  Like the Duggars, they did not see the point in ruining the future of a young man by making it a criminal situation for the young man to overcome.  The parents of the young man were informed and it was agreed that they would take the proper steps in making sure that he got the help he needed.  He is a happily married man and a productive member of society and when I reflect back on it, I truly believe it was a boy in midst of puberty who was extremely curious about the opposite sex.  I do not think that he truly set out to hurt me, but was caught up in self-gratification and exploration. 

From reading the information available and listening to all the coverage on the Duggar situation, it seems to me that it was a very similar circumstance.  Josh was curious about the opposite sex and he allowed his curiosity and self-gratification to go too far.  He recognized it was wrong and confessed his actions to his parents who were stunned and were not sure what to do.  They could have easily handled it all in house as it mostly involved their family and then no one would know anything had happened.  Do you really think as a parent you could destroy the life of one of your children over some inappropriate touching?  All of those that are so hot and heavy to criticize are saying that they know exactly how to handle this situation if it occurred in their own home?  You would turn in your 14 year old son to the police and allow him to go through the process without one moment of doubt or concern for the impact it would have on your family?  Josh didn’t have a juvenile record of other explicit or bad behavior.  He was not known for causing problems in their home or in the circles they interacted in.  This isn’t the case of a chronic screw up kid who was indulged and allowed to get away with stuff.  Instead of hastily doing something that might ruin Josh’s life, they pressed pause and tried to handle it in house.  This incident happened before they were protecting a television image so all the accusations that they covered it up for television are ludicrous.  All of the critics that are saying you would have handled it “the right way” have no idea what you would do if faced with the same situation.  You can’t know what you would do until you experience it and the specific set of circumstances that go with your story.

Throwing around the term pedophile and rapist in reference to Josh is slander and should be treated as such. If the Duggars had hidden something that turned out to be an ongoing problem, then that would even be different.  The fact is that Josh has worked very hard owning his own business.  He is married and has children of his own and by all accounts is a good father.  I don’t know anyone who is in their 30’s that would stand up and say they are alright to be judged on every incident of their past through their teenage years.  I have things that I certainly would not want revisited in public.  The image that the Duggars portray on television is the very reason that people are coming out of the wood work to join this witch hunt. Because they have portrayed themselves as God fearing people who try to live a life guided by their Christian principles does not in any way say that they are perfect.  In fact, the whole belief of Christianity is based on the fact that we are all just “sinners saved by grace.”  The Duggars have stated on multiple occasions that they are not perfect.  They are just a family that is unique due to its size and they have allowed their lives to play out on television.  Have they made all the right decisions...of course not.  Could this situation have been handled differently or better…maybe so, but what is the purpose behind all of this media frenzy?  All of it has served no purpose but to victimize the victims all over again and to take down a man who had moved passed this situation and had gone on to have a good life for himself and his family.  The ONLY reason that this family is being targeted is because they have not been willing to bend on the Biblical principles they live by.  That has infuriated certain liberal communities who are relishing in the perceived demise of this family.  If you go back through the Duggar television series and their books, they state MANY times that they are not perfect.  They describe faults and frailties and acknowledge that they have them all, but also state the set of standards that they believe is right for their lives. They work hard towards living up to those standards, but NO ONE is perfect.  Everyone has made mistakes and no one is immune to things that they regret and/or wish they could change. The blatant cruelty and malice of those leading the charge against the Duggar family in the interest of standing up for the victims is hard to fathom.  If this was a Kardashian family scenario, no one would even care.  The only reason anyone cares about this is because of the perceived gouge in the family’s armor.  It goes back to John 15:20, “If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also.  If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.”

So in conclusion I say again…when you are the parent of 10 or more children and you have done it all perfectly…then you can speak, but UNTIL then….SHUT UP!